Fear of Not Being Like Them

If you can't get over your fear of not doing it as well as they do, you'll never have the opportunity to be a trail blazer for someone else. - Rachel Hollis, Girl, Stop Apologizing I have a lot of fears in life. I was pretty much only taught how to be fearful. I have …

I Will Never….

...be able to run again. Those were the first thoughts I had when I sat in my chair to do my Start Today journaling. My first thoughts were about what I don't have and won't have the rest of my life. Most of us are wired like this. We are wired to see the negative …

Hiding

If you will not reveal yourself to others, you cannot reveal yourself to yourself. Jordan B. Peterson I have been hiding for many years. In fact, I have been hiding for so long, that I am only beginning to learn who I truly am and what I truly want from life. I hid from everyone …

I Am Not Emotional

I have spent so much of my life running and hiding from emotions. I prided myself on being a hardass who didn't get emotional. I essentially prided myself on being dead inside. But I wasn't dead. I took all of those emotions and I locked them up behind walls never to be found again. Except …

Feeling

Feelings are something that I've had a love/hate relationship with for my entire life. For most of my life, I haven't wanted to feel. I just wanted to be. I built up walls so absolutely strong that nothing could break them down. Until they did crumble. At some point during my childhood, I learned how …

When Alcohol is Love

As I started reading the chapter When Food is Love in The Soul Frequency by Shanna Lee, I immediately had light bulbs going off and bells dinging all around my mind. I'm pretty sure it all started with just the title of the chapter. I had my last drink of alcohol 45 days ago. Since then I've …

Because I Want To

A few weeks ago I was on a camping trip with family and friends and wanted to go hike to this cave that was along the road. It wasn't a big cave and didn't have an established hike, but it looked cool. My friend and I went to scope it out and see if it …

Deflated But Not Defeated

I had a reality check last week that set me down a dark path. I decided to give myself one week to wallow in this path before I checked myself. I never once stopped to consider that I might not ever return to full physical capacity again. Well, my version of full physical capacity. That …