I am…

… who I am and that is who I’ll be.

A few years ago I bought Staying Strong by Demi Lovato and her first entry was about finding your own motto. Ever since the day I first read that, I established and clung to the motto “I am who I am and that is who I’ll be.”

I haven’t always lived by that thought, but it has always been at the back of my mind.

At some point in the past couple years, I posted a picture of my air dried hair, with all the waves and frizziness asking if it looked good enough. Someone responded “it is whatever you want it to be. ” This is something I’ve really been telling myself lately.

You see, I get into my thoughts extremely easily and I seriously criticize myself because I want to fit what I think is acceptable to society. I want to be perfect do NOBODY will dislike me or judge me.

At the same time, I’m jealous and envious of people who are who they are and don’t give a damn, and of people who wear whatever they are comfortable in. These are negative, disempowering thoughts that direct how I act.

That’s just the thing, I have lived 99 percent of my life based on my thoughts. My thoughts are run by my subconscious. It is really difficult to have a say in thoughts that are run by something we have little to no control over.

As each of use try to better ourselves, we frequently come across the saying “change your thoughts and you’ll change your life.” I have held onto trying to change my thoughts so I can change my life for years. It has helped some, but there is so much improvement that I still need to do.

While reading Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life, I came across the following paragraph:

“You are not your thoughts. You are not defined by what’s inside your head. You are what you do. Your actions.”

Gary John Bishop goes on to share how sidestepping feelings to instead focus and take action provides better results than leaning into the feelings that can just be plain unreliable. Take for instance getting an assignment done at work. If you don’t feel like doing it and you give into those feelings, you procrastinate and leave it until later, impacting other assignments or activities. But if you were to just lean in and get it done, you will have more time later for other things and will probably be less stressed (another feeling).

If we give into feelings or wait for the perfect mood, we are never going to get anything done. We are always going to feel stuck. Our inaction is keeping us there more than our abilities ever will.

By doing, we get done what we need or want to. We are working towards our potential. Not only does doing get our shit done, it actually also changes our thoughts.


Stop and think for a minute. Remember the last time you were working on that to do list and you just kept checking off one thing after another? How did you feel? What were your thoughts telling you?

They were probably telling you that you really are a badass. I know that’s how I feel when I am getting shit accomplished.

If we continue with action no matter how or what we feel, our thoughts will start to change. They will start to match our badass action and we will just keep doing.

The key is to fully immerse ourselves into what we are doing and the chatter in our minds will slowly get quieter and quieter.

We have to remember though, that our thoughts can still become our reality at any time. The more negative we think, the more negative we act, and the more negativity we find in our lives.

My life lately is a perfect example of all of this.

Work has been hell. I have been stressed and beaten down. I haven’t taken care of myself or my house. I’ve been grouchy with my husband. My thoughts have controlled my actions. It has gotten to the point that I want out. I want something different.

My actions, or rather inaction, has breed the negativity. I am underpaid for what I’m doing and that feeling of not being appreciated at work has just made it worse. Everything together is adding up. But without action, I can’t change any of it.

This blog also suffers. I want to get on a regular cadence of posting, but I’ve let my feelings run my life. I have so many feelings that I give into rather than taking action.

I can’t grow without making changes. You can’t grow without making changes. We need to control our actions. We need to take action. Without action, we won’t change a thing.

I’m ready to take action, are you?

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